glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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