Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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