she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
