first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
