i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
