I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
