What a fucking waste of an outfit
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
