I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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