Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
