Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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