We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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