Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
