Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
