And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
