Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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