he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm sobbing to NWA
I need water and some morals
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
