I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
