If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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