you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Randomize
