she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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