just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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