I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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