i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
