I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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