whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
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