a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I am full of burrito and curiosity
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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