we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
