You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
