Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
