is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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