She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
