You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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