I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
