I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
