well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
