He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
