The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Little spoons don't ask big questions
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
