Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
