My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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