my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
