Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
