Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
