I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
