Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
