I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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