my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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