Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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