Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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