i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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