big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
