Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
