just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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